How do you feel after you experience a setback or disappointment? Maybe you lost an important client, revenue is down, or the new product does not perform as expected. Do you get frustrated and angry at yourself, or do you show yourself some grace? There’s value in giving yourself the same compassionate support and understanding that you would give a good friend, team member, or employee.
You probably would not berate an employee for being late on a deadline or swear at someone for forgetting a meeting. You should treat yourself in this same way, and it all begins with your mindset.
Be mindful of your words.
If you ever find yourself saying things like, “I can’t” or “That’s just not me,” try intentionally replacing these words with, “I haven’t been able to yet,” or “I’m learning how to.” When you watch your words, you offer the possibility of improvement and take a lot of unnecessary pressure off yourself. This is the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. We always want to be learning and growing.
Speak to yourself how you would coach an employee.
Even if you bungle an important project or make an embarrassing mistake in a client or team meeting, do not allow yourself to get caught up in negative self-talk. Instead, speak to yourself as though you were counseling someone on your team who made the mistake. Doing this will break the cycle of negativity, allowing you to focus on changing the outcome next time. This is growth.
Things are (most likely) are not as bad as they seem.
Unlike doctors in surgery, working in product development or sales is not a matter of life and death. While a problem or consequence might seem huge, keep in mind the situation likely is not as dire as you think.
Remember, your friends or partners are your confidants and cheerleaders. Instead of beating yourself up about something that went wrong, reach out to a trusted colleague or friend. Explain the situation and ask how they would encourage you through the problem or misstep. Most likely, they still hold you in high regard and believe in your capability.
Most everyone can benefit from a little more self-compassion. Show yourself the same empathy you would show a team member. The next time things do not go as you had hoped, remember to be a little gentler on yourself. When you show the same kindness to yourself that you would to others, you give yourself a great gift–compassion. This will help you thrive.
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